Tuesday, March 31, 2009'♥
UPDATES.
My heart pumped so hard it nearly flew right out of my mouth earlier!
OH FUCK!
OH GOD!
I so wanna SCREAM.
N, i think my mgr's a lil lose up there today.
Seriously. Very.
I feel like tugging her hair so much!
ARGH!
Another call tmr morning
OMFG.
Im really afraid.
Of i-dont-know-what.
I guess that's how much confidence i have in myself.
There'r just so much i wanna share with you.
Zombie@3/31/2009 04:32:00 PM
'♥
One after another
Things happened.
Sighs.
I dont know.
After so much
Im seriously immune to things around me.
Words or actions whatever.
I cant feel a thing anymore i realised.
Why. Why like that.
I'm like a feelingless creature now.
Better dont come near.
I dont wanna freeze u all to death.
Is this how it feels when your heart stopped surviving.
Im shivering now.
Sudden coldness.
OMFG.
Im gg for my 1st call at 330.
IM SHIVERING.
Fear. Pressure. IDK.
SAVE ME!!!
Ok i needa go prepare now.
Byes.
Sis. Be strong please.
We will be leaving in another 5 days'.
Loves.
Zombie@3/31/2009 03:13:00 PM
Monday, March 30, 2009'♥
Im feeling all so emo right now.
Boring Monday blues.
Wanna blog abt alot of things
But im too lazy to.
So, forget it.
I just wanna announce sth.
My collegue said im slimer already!!!
3 CHEERS FOR ME!
Ok, done.
Zombie@3/30/2009 04:23:00 PM
Saturday, March 28, 2009'♥
Hangover.
Omg terrible.
I feel like slapping myself.
Was so drunk last night but thank God, i managed to get home in 1 piece.
Im not going back Ginza anymore.
At least for a period of time.
I recalled i puked in the middle of nowhere while WALKING to the toilet
OMFG!
N there were so many ppl there
Fucking embarrassing pls!
ARGH!
I wanna slap myself again.
I just wanna say.
GIVE ME PEACE PLEASE.
Zombie@3/28/2009 05:56:00 PM
Friday, March 27, 2009'♥
I feel like 1 living corpse now
Moving around like dead
Brains stop functioning
Mouth stop eating
I only need my booze & fags to stay alive
Enough.
Had a lil talk with my mgr earlier, pertaining to ytd matter
She's out to play mind games with me again
N what can you expect from somebody whose mind is too dead to response
So, yeah. What can i say
She's right.. i wont wanna do things so mundane everyday
I dont have a choice either.
More things to learn = more work = more time taken in all areas = more brain cells killed = more energy = more STRESS
Im stressed enough
Im busy enough
I cant fucking hell cope during seasons at all already!
Days went by and unhappiness at work accumulated.
Higher & even higher.
I fucking wanna cry & scream my lungs out u know!!!
Things are really piling up from all areas.
SAVE ME!!!!!!!
My world became so upside down messed up with only shades of blacks & greys.
Stop rubbing salt onto my wounds.
Fucking stop it lah please!
I wont intrude your life anymore, so just let things end peacefully!
STOP HURTING ME FURTHER!
QUIT BEING SUCHA SADDIST!
I should be feeling relieve and glad that im gg to have my break soon.
I should be counting down for the getaway to Bintan in 2 weeks'.
I should but why.
Why am i feeling so suffocated & depressed.
Emotions battle.
2 more hours.
Im already going nuts with my cravings.
TONIGHT!
Anyway, i freaking love this song now.
Though only part of it describes everything, but still.
I heart it.
Zombie@3/27/2009 04:15:00 PM
Thursday, March 26, 2009'♥
I feel damn super extremely mixed up.
Is this a joy or sth bad.
After some calming down.
Idk.
I guess its something not that bad after all?
But im too over unhappy with the other concerns
You r the very 1st person i wish to share this piece of news with
SO MUCH.
But hah.
Fuck It.
Zombie@3/26/2009 05:58:00 PM
'♥
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Im defeated.
Speechless.
God knows y.
Being true doesnt pay.
It only hurts even deeper like fuck.
From this moment, I pronounce myself dead.
My heart is dead.
The Natalie you used to know, is dead.
Thank you.
For doing this to me.
Goodbye.
Zombie@3/26/2009 04:16:00 PM
Tuesday, March 24, 2009'♥
MC today.
My headache was so terrible it bugged me till this morning.
N i've got fever too. =(
Waited 1.5 hours for the doctor. Arghh!
Anyway, Dr. said its cos of Sinus.
My god. I didnt even know i have Sinus!
I thought i just got super sensitive nose, thats all.
But i didnt know it was that serious, till now.
So he explained that due to lack of oxygen going into my brain
I'll always end up with headaches & dry throats.
No wonder.
Now i know why i keep feeling so que yang.
My mom made a big big fuss out of this
She said lack of oxygen causes stroke easily & will get brain-dead.
This is crazy!
Like what only.
Feeling damn drowsy now after the meds.
But i just couldnt get to sleep.
Talking abt meds.. its so fucking ex.
Nasal spray already costs me 15 bucks.
This n that, total adds up to 40 bucks.
Omg. Shoot me please.
Ok, I rly am super drowsy now.
I think i need to go lie down before i fall from the chair.
Emo.
If only i could wipe out all memories.
I wont be feeling this way.
It's so tormenting...
Zombie@3/24/2009 01:43:00 PM
Monday, March 23, 2009'♥
I had a super long long long dream last night.
I dreamt of my late grandfather, my family & relatives, my pri & sec schoolmates
I dreamt of mel & you
Cant exactly remember what the dream was about
But it lasted i think, throughout my whole sleep
That maybe is y despite sleeping early, i still overslept this morning. =<
N i really really really wanna go bang the wall so damn much now
Cb headache just refuse to go away!
Its started from say 10plus am all the way till now (gg 7pm)!
Fucking pain. Like as if not enough.
My eyes are getting damn tired & painful too. ='(
Like what only.
N im meeting my mom after this to make sure she has her spects done BY today.
.z_z.
//The greatest pain, is to leave with a bleeding heart. To struggle so hard so much for a pretence on surface that everything's so ok.
Zombie@3/23/2009 06:42:00 PM
'♥
Damn.
Terrible headache.
I feel as if my head will be ripped apart any minute.
Fuck it!!!!!!
I want go bang the wall!!!
Zombie@3/23/2009 12:46:00 PM
Sunday, March 22, 2009'♥
Saturday:
-Career fair with Ongling
-Starbucks
-Meet up with Sa
-Hoegarden
-Talks
-Strolled down Raffles Shopping Centre
-Spinelli
-Laughs
-Crapped
-Cabbed down Ginza
-Cards Games
-Talks
-Booze blast
-Home
-Maggie
-ZZZ
Was browsing through my super old pics on Multiply.
Damn! I freaking miss my HAIR!!!
And the SHAPE of my face.
I look like a distorted egg now.. fuk!
See...
Those were the days...
I seriously need to Jian Fei already.
Lazy Sunday.
Zombie@3/22/2009 01:35:00 PM
Thursday, March 19, 2009'♥
Maybe.
Things will be better for both sides this way.
i guess...
Im going for JobsDB career fair this weekend.
Lets hope there will be better career advancements available.
Looking back.
I've been rather slack with life.
Time to buck up.
Many things not accomplish yet.
1st) Gonna get a driving license by year end
2nd) Gonna start furthering my studies
3rd) REALLY needa start saving for rainy days
N lastly, im thinking of doing a secretarial course.
For what? For that piece of paper to earn myself higher pay when put tgt with my future cert. HAS.
But im still considering. Should i?
Lets see...
Zombie@3/19/2009 12:47:00 PM
Friday, March 13, 2009'♥
Are things gonna end this way.
Just like that.
Appts. off tonight.
I shall go drink by myself.
Pray i will be able to crawl home after that.
Badly Injured.
So much so, im already feelingless.
Bye world.
Zombie@3/13/2009 01:48:00 PM
Thursday, March 12, 2009'♥
2 more days to go
I shall be good & endure
I need help.
I think i need a psychiatrist.
Seriously.
Zombie@3/12/2009 12:32:00 PM
Tuesday, March 10, 2009'♥
Listen with your heart
Feel with your soul
Dont leave me with decisions
We both will hate
Im drained enough.
What more do u want.
Do u ever know what i needed most!?
Do u ever know what i wanted most!?
Im so super sick of all these shits.
Dont lie that you won't.
I dont know how & what now.
I just feel so damn lost.
I need time.
To get over ALL these.
Before i suffer from a terrible breakdown.
Its really, really more then enough.
So fucking hell STOP ALL NONSENCES!
IM GOING NUTS!
Zombie@3/10/2009 03:10:00 PM
Wednesday, March 04, 2009'♥
Many shits happened.
Whatever it is.
Super busy, i dont even have time to blog.
Gg home soon.
*Thumbs*
IM FUCKING STRESSED UP.
AND
I FEEL FUCKING LETHARGIC.
Heated emos.
Yet nobody understands.
Nobody bothers.
It feels so even worst, when you r one of them.
Zombie@3/04/2009 06:42:00 PM